Set Eight Meeting
Six – Treating Others With Honor
Listen to CD
People in
Scripture that showed honor to others (David to King Saul and Mephibosheth,
John the Baptist to Jesus, Mary Magdalene to Jesus, Jesus to His Father.)
Tell about a
time in your own life when you did not show proper etiquette (funny or serious)
and what happened as a result.
Sword Drill:
Matthew
7:12a
Luke
10:30-37
Luke 14:8-10
Luke
14:12-14
Luke
17:12-19
John 13:35
Romans 12:13
Philippians
2:3-11
1 Peter 4:9
Main
concepts:
Etiquette
and manners are extremely important. We
are representing our Heavenly Father – we ought to behave in a way that is
fitting for the daughters of a King!
True
etiquette and gracious behavior come from developing genuine love and respect
for others – not memorizing a list of etiquette rules.
Some may
have good manners with the motivation to impress others or attract attention,
but instead we should have the attitude of Christ – demonstrating that we think
highly of others and esteem them as more important than ourselves.
One of the
most important etiquette principles (especially related to Bright Lights) is
learning to reach out to newcomers and make them feel welcome.
(Explain the
importance of being aware of what is “culturally acceptable,” so as not to give
offense to ones that you are trying to reach out to, or disciple for
Christ. Do some research and share
examples of what various cultures consider proper manners to be. Remind the girls that one day they may be
missionaries – ambassadors for Christ in another culture, and it will be easier
for them to be sensitive to new customs if they are in the habit of practicing
good etiquette now.)
“And as ye
would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise.” Luke 6:31
During our Tea Time...I gave each young lady a paper with Etiquette examples from around the world. This made for some great conversations!
Etiquette in India:
Be cautious
in giving a leather item as a gift. Since many Hindus are vegetarians, and part
of a dead animal would definitely be an unsuitable gift.
It is not
good manners to say 'thank you' at the end of the meal. This is considered as
an inappropriate and impersonal gesture. However, it is good etiquette to show
appreciation and invite your hosts out to dinner in the future.
It is
considered good manners to arrive 15 to 30 minutes late to dinner at someone’s
home.
Standing
tall with your hands on your hips is perceived as aggressive.
Pointing
with your finger is considered bad manners and rude.
Never point
your feet at another person as feet are considered unclean.
Traditionally,
Indian people use the left hand as part of their toilet routine. Consequently,
the left hand is considered unclean, and you should only offer your right hand
when greeting someone.
Touching -
Public physical contact between men and women is far less acceptable in India
than in other parts of the world.
Etiquette in Russia:
The typical
greeting is a firm, almost bone-crushing handshake while maintaining direct eye
contact and giving the appropriate greeting for
the time of day.
When female
friends meet, they kiss on the cheek three times, starting with the left and
then alternating.
Do not give
a baby gift until after the baby is born. It is bad luck to do so sooner.
Russians
often protest when they are offered a gift. Reply that it is a little something
and offer the gift again and it will generally be accepted.
Arrive on time
or no more than 15 minutes later than invited.
The oldest
or most honored guest is served first.
It is polite
to use bread to soak up gravy or sauce.
Expect a
long period of socializing and getting-to-know-you conversation before business
is discussed.
Leaving a
small amount of food on your plate indicates that your hosts have provided
ample hospitality.
Etiquette in Tonga:
Man greeting
Man – A handshake is the preferred form
of greeting. Handshakes are warm and
usually linger a bit.
Tonga has become
very conservative in terms of religion in the past few years. Thus, it is
important that tourists respect this religious ardor. For instance, entire
towns in Tonga shut down on Sunday. There is no transportation available, no
restaurants to eat at. Most people can be seen walking to and from church and
spending the day with their families. Tourists should be respectful of this.
Also, since it is so religiously conservative, visitors should dress
appropriately and not in too risque clothes.
If you are
invited by a Tongan family to join them having a meal, be prepared to sit on
the floor and to eat with your fingers.
Prior to each meal somebody says a
prayer. Watch your host and follow his actions.
Tongans like
to have some fun with the tourists - if any story told to you seems not very
plausible, you better ask another source!
Etiquette in Egypt:
Egyptians
will always greet you with a smile and a gracious inquiry as to your health. Do
the same, and for heaven sake, don't act superior.
It is acceptable
for a woman to be kind to an Egyptian man, but be aware that being too friendly
can give the wrong impression. Men should never flirt with an Egyptian woman.
When invited
to a home, it’s normal to take your shoes off before entering the reception
rooms. It is customary to take a gift: sweet pastries (or tea and sugar in
rural areas) are always acceptable.
Egyptians
are likely to feel very strongly about certain subjects – Palestine, Israel and
Islam, for instance, and these should be treated diplomatically if they come up
in conversation. Some Egyptians are keen to discuss them, others not, but
carelessly expressed opinions, and particularly open contempt for religion, can
cause serious offence.
Dining
etiquette for eating with Muslims. Islam prohibits eating pork. Meat must be
prepared halal. Do not eat in front of your Muslim colleagues, or invite them
to join you for a meal, during the day during Ramadan.
Do not fill
your plate full at first. It is better to return for more.
Men and
women may be asked to dine separately.
Etiquette in Israel:
According to
Jewish law it is forbidden for any Jewish man (i.e a boy over the age of
thirteen) to touch a woman - except his
wife. Similarly, it is forbidden for any
woman to touch a man other than her own husband. This law is mostly practiced in religious
households only. If you have just met a religious person and are unsure of
their level of observance, wait a moment.
If it is okay, the man or woman will extend their hand.
Israelis
tend to speak quickly and loudly even in confined spaces. This does not mean that they are yelling or
annoyed.
Unlike in
some conservative English speaking countries conversation with a stranger at
the bus stop or on the bus or the train is quite common. There is hardly a
topic that is off limits; you may be
scolded about your behavior or you may even be given some parental advice.
Israelis are
very relaxed with time in social settings.
At a wedding or similar type of
function, showing up half an hour after the time specified on the invitation,
is perfectly acceptable. In fact, being
late is almost expected. The actual
wedding ceremony usually takes place an hour after the arrival time indicated
on the invitation.
You could
arrive with a hostess gift of some kind when invited to someones home for a
meal. It could be a small gesture like a
cake or chocolates. You could also offer
to prepare part of the meal; a salad or desert.
In Israel,
men and women are considered equals.
Etiquette in South Africa:
The coloured
and more traditional Afrikaans cultures consider their extended family to be
almost as important as their nuclear family, while the English-speaking white
community places more emphasis on the nuclear family.
The majority
of the whites living in rural areas are Afrikaner farmers who are descended
from the Calvinists. Their views on the world are sometimes narrow. At the same
time they value human decency over materialism.
City
dwellers live life in the fast lane, which affects their outlook
When dealing
with foreigners, most South Africans shake hands while maintaining eye contact
and smiling.
If you are
invited to a South African's home, bring flowers, good quality chocolates, or a
bottle of good South African wine to the hostess.
Arrive on
time if invited to dinner.
Offer to
help the hostess with the preparation or clearing up after a meal is served.
Do not
interrupt a South African while they are speaking.
Etiquette in Poland:
Mr and Mrs
plus the family name is an absolute requirement when introductions are made.
Always be on
time, it is considered extreme bad manners and poor etiquette to keep people
waiting
It is very
important to show special consideration and care for the senior citizens of
Poland. Children are taught good manners
and etiquette from an early age, to give up their seats for the elderly is just
an accepted way of life.
If you are
invited to a private home for dinner, be prepared to remove your shoes before
entering (no holes in socks please!) it is usual to arrive around 8 pm and to
stay until past midnight. It is considered to be polite to arrive about 15
minutes late to give the hostess time to prepare, but later than 15 minutes is
considered bad manners and not good etiquette.
Wait for
your host to start eating before you start.
Keep your
knife in your right hand and your fork in the left at all times. While eating
you should keep your wrists on the table. When you have finished eating, place
the knife and fork parallel to each other at an angle across the right side of
the plate. Crossing the knife and fork on your plate is a sign you have not yet
finished your meal.
Hands in
pockets is considered disrespectful and rude.
Etiquette in Jamaica:
Saying
‘please’, ‘thank you’ and ‘excuse me’ will go a long way in Jamaica; as such
pleasantries and politeness are admired.
Until your
Jamaican counterpart initiates the use of first names, always address people by
using formal titles, such as Mr, Mrs, Dr, and suchlike. Moving too quickly to
informalities may not always be appropriate and could be perceived as
disrespectful.
In Jamaica,
unless you are at a beach resort, you should avoid wearing revealing clothing.
Shorts and miniskirts are not considered appropriate for women, so it is best
to wear longer skirts and dresses
Always use
your utensils to eat, as eating with your hands could be seen as rather crass.
You should also try to finish everything that has been served up to you, as
leaving large amounts of food could be seen as an indicator of your distaste.
Jamaicans
tend to speak very quickly and may become quite animated. They appreciate laughter and do so often and
loudly.
"Soon
come" is a favorite saying. Keep in
mind it could mean 10 minutes or 2 hours or 2 days! It's a good idea to be patient.
Jamaican men
are somewhat aggressive and women can expect to hear men cat-calling to them
frequently.
