Set 8 - Meeting 6: Treating Others With Honor

Set Eight Meeting Six – Treating Others With Honor

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People in Scripture that showed honor to others (David to King Saul and Mephibosheth, John the Baptist to Jesus, Mary Magdalene to Jesus, Jesus to His Father.)

Tell about a time in your own life when you did not show proper etiquette (funny or serious) and what happened as a result.

Sword Drill:

Matthew 7:12a

Luke 10:30-37

Luke 14:8-10

Luke 14:12-14

Luke 17:12-19

John 13:35

Romans 12:13

Philippians 2:3-11

1 Peter 4:9

Main concepts:

Etiquette and manners are extremely important.  We are representing our Heavenly Father – we ought to behave in a way that is fitting for the daughters of a King!

True etiquette and gracious behavior come from developing genuine love and respect for others – not memorizing a list of etiquette rules.

Some may have good manners with the motivation to impress others or attract attention, but instead we should have the attitude of Christ – demonstrating that we think highly of others and esteem them as more important than ourselves.

One of the most important etiquette principles (especially related to Bright Lights) is learning to reach out to newcomers and make them feel welcome.

(Explain the importance of being aware of what is “culturally acceptable,” so as not to give offense to ones that you are trying to reach out to, or disciple for Christ.  Do some research and share examples of what various cultures consider proper manners to be.  Remind the girls that one day they may be missionaries – ambassadors for Christ in another culture, and it will be easier for them to be sensitive to new customs if they are in the habit of practicing good etiquette now.)

“And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise.”  Luke 6:31

 During our Tea Time...I gave each young lady a paper with Etiquette examples from around the world.  This made for some great conversations!

Etiquette in India:

Be cautious in giving a leather item as a gift. Since many Hindus are vegetarians, and part of a dead animal would definitely be an unsuitable gift.

It is not good manners to say 'thank you' at the end of the meal. This is considered as an inappropriate and impersonal gesture. However, it is good etiquette to show appreciation and invite your hosts out to dinner in the future.

It is considered good manners to arrive 15 to 30 minutes late to dinner at someone’s home.

Standing tall with your hands on your hips is perceived as aggressive.

Pointing with your finger is considered bad manners and rude.

Never point your feet at another person as feet are considered unclean.

Traditionally, Indian people use the left hand as part of their toilet routine. Consequently, the left hand is considered unclean, and you should only offer your right hand when greeting someone.

Touching - Public physical contact between men and women is far less acceptable in India than in other parts of the world.

Etiquette in Russia:

The typical greeting is a firm, almost bone-crushing handshake while maintaining direct eye contact and giving the appropriate greeting for  the time of day.

When female friends meet, they kiss on the cheek three times, starting with the left and then alternating.

Do not give a baby gift until after the baby is born. It is bad luck to do so sooner.

Russians often protest when they are offered a gift. Reply that it is a little something and offer the gift again and it will generally be accepted.

Arrive on time or no more than 15 minutes later than invited.

The oldest or most honored guest is served first.

It is polite to use bread to soak up gravy or sauce.

Expect a long period of socializing and getting-to-know-you conversation before business is discussed.

Leaving a small amount of food on your plate indicates that your hosts have provided ample hospitality.

Etiquette in Tonga:

Man greeting Man  – A handshake is the preferred form of greeting.  Handshakes are warm and usually linger a bit.

Tonga has become very conservative in terms of religion in the past few years. Thus, it is important that tourists respect this religious ardor. For instance, entire towns in Tonga shut down on Sunday. There is no transportation available, no restaurants to eat at. Most people can be seen walking to and from church and spending the day with their families. Tourists should be respectful of this. 

Also, since it is so religiously conservative, visitors should dress appropriately and not in too risque clothes.

If you are invited by a Tongan family to join them having a meal, be prepared to sit on the floor and to eat with your fingers. 

Prior to each meal somebody says a prayer. Watch your host and follow his actions.

Tongans like to have some fun with the tourists - if any story told to you seems not very plausible, you better ask another source!

Etiquette in Egypt:

Egyptians will always greet you with a smile and a gracious inquiry as to your health. Do the same, and for heaven sake, don't act superior.

It is acceptable for a woman to be kind to an Egyptian man, but be aware that being too friendly can give the wrong impression. Men should never flirt with an Egyptian woman.

When invited to a home, it’s normal to take your shoes off before entering the reception rooms. It is customary to take a gift: sweet pastries (or tea and sugar in rural areas) are always acceptable.

Egyptians are likely to feel very strongly about certain subjects – Palestine, Israel and Islam, for instance, and these should be treated diplomatically if they come up in conversation. Some Egyptians are keen to discuss them, others not, but carelessly expressed opinions, and particularly open contempt for religion, can cause serious offence.

Dining etiquette for eating with Muslims. Islam prohibits eating pork. Meat must be prepared halal. Do not eat in front of your Muslim colleagues, or invite them to join you for a meal, during the day during Ramadan.

Do not fill your plate full at first. It is better to return for more.

Men and women may be asked to dine separately.

Etiquette in Israel:

According to Jewish law it is forbidden for any Jewish man (i.e a boy over the age of thirteen) to touch a  woman - except his wife.  Similarly, it is forbidden for any woman to touch a man other than her own husband.  This law is mostly practiced in religious households only. If you have just met a religious person and are unsure of their level of observance, wait a moment.  If it is okay, the man or woman will extend their hand.

Israelis tend to speak quickly and loudly even in confined spaces.  This does not mean that they are yelling or annoyed.

Unlike in some conservative English speaking countries conversation with a stranger at the bus stop or on the bus or the train is quite common. There is hardly a topic that is off limits;  you may be scolded about your behavior or you may even be given some parental advice.

Israelis are very relaxed with time in social settings.  At a wedding or similar type  of function, showing up half an hour after the time specified on the invitation, is perfectly acceptable.  In fact, being late is almost expected.  The actual wedding ceremony usually takes place an hour after the arrival time indicated on the invitation.

You could arrive with a hostess gift of some kind when invited to someones home for a meal.  It could be a small gesture like a cake or chocolates.  You could also offer to prepare part of the meal; a salad or desert.

In Israel, men and women are considered equals.

Etiquette in South Africa:

The coloured and more traditional Afrikaans cultures consider their extended family to be almost as important as their nuclear family, while the English-speaking white community places more emphasis on the nuclear family.

The majority of the whites living in rural areas are Afrikaner farmers who are descended from the Calvinists. Their views on the world are sometimes narrow. At the same time they value human decency over materialism.

City dwellers live life in the fast lane, which affects their outlook

When dealing with foreigners, most South Africans shake hands while maintaining eye contact and smiling.

If you are invited to a South African's home, bring flowers, good quality chocolates, or a bottle of good South African wine to the hostess.

Arrive on time if invited to dinner.

Offer to help the hostess with the preparation or clearing up after a meal is served.

Do not interrupt a South African while they are speaking.

Etiquette in Poland:

Mr and Mrs plus the family name is an absolute requirement when introductions are made.

Always be on time, it is considered extreme bad manners and poor etiquette to keep people waiting

It is very important to show special consideration and care for the senior citizens of Poland.  Children are taught good manners and etiquette from an early age, to give up their seats for the elderly is just an accepted way of life.

If you are invited to a private home for dinner, be prepared to remove your shoes before entering (no holes in socks please!) it is usual to arrive around 8 pm and to stay until past midnight. It is considered to be polite to arrive about 15 minutes late to give the hostess time to prepare, but later than 15 minutes is considered bad manners and not good etiquette.

Wait for your host to start eating before you start.

Keep your knife in your right hand and your fork in the left at all times. While eating you should keep your wrists on the table. When you have finished eating, place the knife and fork parallel to each other at an angle across the right side of the plate. Crossing the knife and fork on your plate is a sign you have not yet finished your meal.

Hands in pockets is considered disrespectful and rude.

Etiquette in Jamaica:

Saying ‘please’, ‘thank you’ and ‘excuse me’ will go a long way in Jamaica; as such pleasantries and politeness are admired.

Until your Jamaican counterpart initiates the use of first names, always address people by using formal titles, such as Mr, Mrs, Dr, and suchlike. Moving too quickly to informalities may not always be appropriate and could be perceived as disrespectful.

In Jamaica, unless you are at a beach resort, you should avoid wearing revealing clothing. Shorts and miniskirts are not considered appropriate for women, so it is best to wear longer skirts and dresses

Always use your utensils to eat, as eating with your hands could be seen as rather crass. You should also try to finish everything that has been served up to you, as leaving large amounts of food could be seen as an indicator of your distaste.

Jamaicans tend to speak very quickly and may become quite animated.   They appreciate laughter and do so often and loudly. 

"Soon come" is a favorite saying.  Keep in mind it could mean 10 minutes or 2 hours or 2 days!  It's a good idea to be patient.

Jamaican men are somewhat aggressive and women can expect to hear men cat-calling to them frequently.