We did things a little differently this time in that I used material from Raising Maidens of Virtue, by Stacy McDonald...chapter 10 of her book is called Taming The Tongue, and it was the perfect fit for this lesson.
In the story, a young teen named Lydia, comes across a sad scene playing out in the local schoolyard. A little girl is being teased and taunted because of the way she is dressed. Lydia is indignant towards the child's persecutors and comes to her rescue. Once the bullies are scattered, Lydia tries to comfort the child with the story of Joseph and the fact that God has mysterious ways of working things out for the ultimate good of His people - even when things seem so painful and confusing. Lydia walks the child home and feels good in the fact that she has now made a new friend.
Once Lydia arrives back home, she is greeted with the smell of fresh homemade muffins, and decides to take some over to her new friend later. She tells her mother about the incident and the hurtful things that were said to the little girl. Her mother responds with wisdom and insight by noting that, "...cutting words are like a poisonous dagger, and sometimes careless or cruel words leave scars that stay with us always. Without God's grace, some people never fully recover from the harsh words of others. God can and does heal our hurts, but sometimes painful memories still linger and resurface during low times. Words can destroy relationships, harm marriages, damage children, and split churches. God warns us about the power of the tongue."
She goes on to say, "When we imagine sins of the tongue, we tend to think of gossip, cursing, or lying. What you witnessed today was an example of purposeful verbal nastiness. But sometimes our careless words are just as injurious within our own families - maybe more so. Sometimes a careless remark to a sibling about some physical feature or a hasty joke about a peculiar habit or personal quirk is hurtful."
Lydia remembers a hurtful comment she had made when she and her sister, Jennifer, were arguing the week before. She had spoken out of anger and had made a rather unkind remark about Jennifer's cooking skills. "She winced as she remembered the sarcastic way she had suggested that Jennifer would probably never make much more than boxed macaroni and cheese and instant pudding for her future husband and children. She had taunted Jennifer with a few more comments about her most recent cooking failures before she had gone to bed angry that night. How had she developed such a caustic tongue?"
Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth! And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell. (James 3: 5- 6)
Lydia's mother reminds her that if you never learn to tame your tongue, the Bible says you are deceived and that your good works are in vain...
If any man among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man's religion is vain. James 1:26
Scriptures gives us many examples of the sort of sins that pour forth from the tongue: lying, gossiping, backbiting, coarse jesting, complaining, murmuring, tattling, slandering, flattering - the list goes on. Women in particular seem to have a difficult time using the tongue for God's glory.
Lydia's mother continued, "You may use your bridled tongue as a great blessing to those you nurture and serve - a blessing of mercy, love, comfort, and compassion. But if you are not careful, you may easily sip into gossip, idle talk, complaining, or nagging. You may become critical of others or even develop a contentious spirit (Proverbs 25:24).
The Bible tells us that out of the overflow of a man's heart, he speaks. When you are tempted to wield your tongue in a way that may hurt someone else, check your heart for deception - for bitterness, jealousy, or anger. There may be times when you are forced to speak the truth to someone in love - truth that may in fact hurt them, but make sure it's for their ultimate good, and make sure it is truly done in love (Ephesians 4:15).
The story concludes with Lydia realizing she needs to ask Jennifer for forgiveness to make things right between them again. She also purposes in her heart to pray daily and ask God to set a watch over her mouth.
Set a watch, O Lord, before my mouth; keep the door of my lips. Psalm 141:3
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